its been awhile... have been pretty lazy to go online these days.... haha... well, went over to akil's place on sat night to watch the match between man utd and arsenal with a couple of our friends.... we spent the night there and man, was it fun... haha... we turned his house upside down i think... heh... akil was pretty pissed, cause man utd lost even though they outplayed arsenal for most of the match... as for me, i don care cause we won!! haha.... then on wed night, the same bunch of peeps came down to my place, this time to catch the champions league final... and it was their turn to turn my place upside down, but i'm cool... hah... i wasn't really interested in the match, but heck, if you've got great company, everything will be fun!! most of my friends are going in the next few weeks... the first to go in will be akil, who's going in next friday.... damn, gonna be bored without them.... well, at least for a month that is... for i'll be going in soon too... heh... oh yah baby, i'm not cheating on you k, how can i cheat on you with a bunch of "girls"? haha...

my mum's going in for her op next wed... been trying really hard not to think too much bout it, but it always manage to creep up into my mind.... even when i'm having fun, i will sometimes stop and think bout it.... trying really hard not to be afraid, but the fact is, i am afraid... she's also not taking it too well... can tell that she's frightened.... but what can i do... i try to reassure her, but it's often of no use.... i'm praying real hard.... but i guess i should be comforted by the fact that she's being operated on by a very skilled group... well, got to go now peeps... cheers :)


Riz lost himself at 5/27/2005 04:19:00 pm

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had a wonderful time in sentosa last saturday.... well, at least to me... haha... i had a hard time deciding whether i should go for the outing, simply because i'm not a beach kind of guy... i mean, i can actually count the number of times i've been to a beach, and sentosa too for that matter.... but i finally relented... and i'm glad i did... i had a great time with my friends, as we basically swam the whole time we were there... and i so called "saved" 2 of my friends who couldn't swim, and in the process i almost drowned myself.... haha... it was kind of stupid actually... i mean i'm not a very good swimmer and when i saw them struggling in the water, i was really unsure of what i should do.... but i knew i had to do something, and i'm glad i did... although on the second occasion i was dragged down into the water as my friend struggled to keep afloat and in the process pulling me down together with him.... that was some scary shit... and the lifeguard didn't even do anything.... i don't even know if he saw us.... oh well, everything's fine now... oh ya, we did play some beach volleyball with these 2 caucasians who claimed they were from japan... hmmm.... i wonder...

i'm becoming more sensitive now regarding that subject.... whenever people notices it and starts making remarks bout it, i will feel like crying... its stupid i know, but i can't help it.... i thought i've gotten over it, but i guess i'm wrong.... nothing can be done to stop it from happening, but i juz can't really accept it... its affecting me in ways i cannot even imagine.... i'm changing.... yes i am....


Riz lost himself at 5/09/2005 11:02:00 pm

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what a bloody bad day it has been today.... first i was caught in the rain, then a bloody taxi splashed water all over my side when it went past me.... damn... i was in a mess when i reached school.... and to make it worse, it was my turn at the speech thingy when i arrived... i barely had time to cool down and relax.... and you know what, i forgot the first line of my speech.... great, juz great... it took me a couple of seconds to finally get my act together... i think that cost me the slot though.... damn disappointed.... i spent 1 whole week to prepare for that speech and in the end it was almost ruined..... crap... they told me to be on stand by, in case the 2 guys in front of me can't make it... yea 2 guys.... sigh... ok ok, i should stop whining now... sorry peeps for this post... oh yah zin, you do have the looks ok! go for it!!


Riz lost himself at 5/06/2005 10:15:00 pm

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the dance at the swiss club the past 2 days went pretty well.... the atmosphere was quite happening on sat night, although the same could not be said about yesterday.... well, it was probably going to be the last performance that i'm ever going to do with the club, so of course there were some feelings in it.... even though i may have hated the dance at times in the past, i actually find it quite fun now... its a time when most of the members will gather together, and where we will crap and joke around... gonna miss that.... oh well....


well, i confessed to her on sat.... not sure what came over me but i juz felt that i had to do it.... it seems that the feeling was mutual, but the prob was with the parents at the other side.... well, i can't blame her, who would want to hurt their parents by doing something that they strongly object to.... its all a case of religion and race... if they can't accept me, someone who is of a different race and religion, then so be it.... i'm not going to be an asshole by ruining their relationship... she has made her decision, and i accept it.... well, i juz think that its a waste.... this is probably the first time that i like someone whom likes me back.... but i'm letting it go... i have to.... i'm not even sure what i'm supposed to feel.... zin told me that if you like someone, you should not care whether they are of a different race or religion, and that you should not care bout what your parents think.... but its easier said than done.... we practically grew up with our parents, and as much as we would like to think that we would be free and independent from them and their influences after a certain age, the fact remains that they are Your parents and they will always be an important part of your life... imagine growing up and living with your parents for years and then suddenly you are estranged from them due to some differences.... it will hurt you inside, and probably scar you for life.... maybe i am exaggerating, but part of it is true.... and i'm not saying that what zin said is wrong, perhaps diffent people have different opinions.... for one, i know that she is a very independent girl who could easily look after herself.... as for me, i'm thankful that i have wonderful parents who are pretty open regarding some of these race issues... i think... haha... perhaps it has got to do with the fact that they both are of different races... i'm juz speculating here... and zin, please don be offended by what i said.... its juz my opinion.... you still rock girl!! haha.... oh well, i've got to move on... again....


Riz lost himself at 5/02/2005 03:52:00 pm

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